Sitting on our almost done being built big front porch. My husband whom is disabled has been working on this project and for all intents and purposes it is done with the exception of one more set of steps and one side railing that are built, they just need to be put up. This is our last step and will be done today. It has already been weatherized. It's ready to go .
Absolutely gorgeous! The skies here in Northern California have been a smokey haze since June.(due to all the fires) For the last ten days or so I have been able to enjoy a very BLUE mountain crisp,clear sky!
I put on my bathing suit, grabbed a cold one and open up a lounge chair that has waited for this day as long as I have. It to be used, me to use it. I sit, then start to recline, Life is good at this very moment ,
the old finger is in a spot is does not belong, and I cry out loud "Oh Damn" I did not SCREAM "Oh Damn". I just reacted too and spoke too a very hurtful pinch. Before I could barely get un-pinched to see the damage to myself, I hear a neighbor across the street YELL to me "Watch your mouth". The only thing I could mutter to say was "I am on my own front porch" I still was not un-pinched.
She yelled back
I have been crying ever since.
I finally released my-self, walked into the house to run cold water on my finger, (It did not bleed) and started crying. I do not know why I am crying. It's not some hormonal thing goin' on. I think I am just sooo sad at people these days. I was on my own front porch, I obviously spoke the words loud enough for this neighbor to hear (She is in her mid to late 60's)and I can understand people perhaps not wanting to hear that forbidden word damn, and for that I am sorry. What I don't understand is a neighbor that would stand across the street and SEE that I was in obvious distress, (as I have a lounge chair stuck to my finger)and take it sooo far as to say Shut-Up!
When I was growing up, (and I realize every family has their own forbiddings) I was taught that the word Shut-Up was THEE most disrespectful word on the planet. As it showed the person speaking it, thought, they were mightier than all that, and had some inherent right to tell another to not speak. Perhaps that IS why I am so sad. I was born and bred to think this way. But I also have NEVER told anyone to Shut-up. Even when I have wanted too. (Such as 4 small sons fighting and screaming over a toy).
I just can't believe how happy and how good I was feeling, about the porch, the blue skies, the sun and in a second I allow some woman to wreck my day by telling me to shut-up!
I STILL have not figured out if I feel more sorry for myself for letting myself hurt this way or if I feel more sorry for her, that she can be such a person to say those words to a neighbor that lives across the street and just wanted to enjoy all the beauty that was bestowed on me (up to that moment) minding my own self who was searching for my little moment in the sun.
Does anyone have any tissues?