There was a part of me that never ever wanted to learn anything about the computer. I live, and love living in a quiet mountain town and enjoy the simplicity of it all. I also would not consider myself stupid, and when it finally became apparent I was not going to beat them, so I might as well join them theory( that to do with learning the computer) I pretty much am glad I did. I have found a world of knowledge and met some of the "nicest people I will never meet" on the internet. I have had a whole new world introduced to me. I have seen pictures of places I will never get to see. I have read and debated about issues (which I REALLY enjoy) by reading other peoples blogs (something else I really enjoy), or the zillion of news sources that are all here at my fingertips. Because my town is so small and seems to have gotton lost on the map at times, I have heard about fires this summer that I received through Google Alerts a lot sooner if I would have waited to hear about them through the television, or newspapers, or worse yet seen them out my back door! With that all said I still get the pain, the sickness, the ill at ease feeling about the computer and internet once in awhile. Like when I first got this computer and the first one I had ever used, I remember trying to come up with the website for the T.V. show The View. (I am a BIG fan of Joy Bahaer). It is the only show I ever watch. I hate T.V. Just a personal preference, yet sometimes I feel like I have Adult ADD, (Attention Deficit Disorder) Anyway I could not BELIEVE what a person can come up with when you type in "The View"
But I did not know what I was doing and knew nothing about anything, and in retrospect it IS kind of funny ...unless... you have a child in the house.
But that is a different story, yet that is the very reason I HATED the thought of having a computer. Because I had only heard about the bad!!!!
Recently though I have run into what I call to myself (but not anymore) LOL!!! as Cyber punks. The ones with razor sharp tongues that are ready and waiting to cut your throat, or cut you down or whatever it may be to perhaps give themselves some sort of cyber superiority.
And I am defenseless. I truly believe in respect and do everything in my power and control to give it, to receive it. It is probably my biggest bitch in the world of Allison.
but because of this computer I am succumbing, to less than I want to be seen in me. I have found my self now a couple times unable to bite my tongue any longer due to the pain of being respectful to those you do not know but some how have a way of fucking you or your thoughts in to their common good! And I ashamed. I am ashamed at myself to lowering myself to something I truly am not!
When ever I write something on the internet that is not a quote or has no source, it is my opinion. It does not mean I am right. It is just my opinion. 99.9% of the people I interact with on the internet know that and all is well. But that 00.01% sure seems to wreak havoc on my self and my personal being and that REALLY BUGS ME!!!
I wish I could get over it.
Why can't I?
With no sarcasm intended
I already feel better getting THAT off my chest!
Did you hear the one about ....?